Beatle Inspired Comic Characters

There are good reasons that the Beatles should not be allowed to inspire anyone to a life of a super hero/villain.

Case in point: The Walrus

Well, those not well versed in the Beatles back catalogue may be amazed to discover that they didn't always wear those 60's grey suits. To wit:

And here's the video for the song I Am The Walrus:

New teaser trailer of Kevin Smith's new feature, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Check it out, I think it looks great!



I have no idea if this film is set in the usual Kevin Smith world, inhabited by Jay, Silent Bob, Dante and Randall, but it does feature Jay (Jason Mewes) and Randall (Jeff Anderson) although in different roles.

In case you're wondering why the girl in the trailer looks so familiar (Elizabeth Banks), well she has been in a few cult films, such as Slither, and is the mother of JDs baby in Scrubs, but she is also Betty Brant, J. Jonah Jameson's secretary in the Spider-Man movies. Cool.

Anticipation for this film? Well, it has to be three Woots out of three.

Marvel Films Update

Riddle me this: when is a Marvel film not a Marvel film?

After my previous post, I had some queries about the lack of Marvel films in 2009. Now, it's true that Marvel are not planning to release any films in 2009, but that only includes the films they own and are financing.

You see, before Iron Man, Marvel did not make any films. They sold their characters to different companies, who then made the films. Marvel had very little control over these films, and I expect they made little money compared to the producers of these films. Also, with different companies owning the rights to use different characters and trade marks, you could never have a crossover or team-up (except with franchises, such as Daredevil/Elektra)

So, yes there will be Marvel films in 2009, but there are no plans for a Marvel produced film in 2009.

So, which films featuring Marvel characters are due for release?

The Punisher: War Zone
Lions Gate Films, December 5th 2008

X-Men Origins: Magneto
20th Century Fox, 2009 release, no confirmed date

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
20th Century Fox, 2009 release, no confirmed date

Spider-Man 4
Columbia Pictures, 2010 release, no confirmed date

So that's one at the end of the year, two next year, and one for 2010.

Now this is a list of all Marvel properties currently in development. Note that it can take years from development till the film's release, so who knows when these will be released, if ever? Oh, I've added ratings out of 3 for my anticipation, film potential and villain potential, for no reason other than to take up space beside the pictures.

Black Panther
Marvel Studios

Nothing to do with the black terrorists of the 70s, but an African prince who gains mad acrobatic skills from eating special "herbs" in the jungle. Bah, you would no more give the Panther his own film, than you would do any other sidekick - and let's be honest, being in a team is the only way this character works.

My anticipation: 1

Film potential: 1

Bad guys include Klaw, a man made of living sound, and Man-Ape, a large dude who dresses up as a white gorilla.

Villain Potential: 1

Cloak and Dagger
Marvel Studios

Hmm, a film about two teenage runaways who get hooked on crack and heroin, take some dodgy stuff and gain super powers, where they fight drug dealers of the New York underworld. Yeah, I could see this being a hard sell - whats the moral here, run away, become homeless, take drugs and become a super-hero? There's something about a comic where this sort of nonsense can (and does) work, but I can't imagine it working on the big screen at all.

My anticipation: 1
Film potential: 1

Bad guys include Silvermane, who is an old guy in a bionic suit, and Kingpin, who has already been used in Daredevil.

Villain potential: 1

Deathlok
Paramount Pictures

A film about an assassin cyborg trying to overcome his programming. Interesting fact: the character of Deathlok and the Six Million Dollar Man are both based on the same novel, Cyborg, but quickly went completely separate ways. I have fairly high hopes for this, and believe this has the potential to be a new Blade.

My anticipation: 2

Film Potential: 3

Bad guys... um, I'm not really sure...

Villain Potential: 1

Doctor Strange
Marvel Studios

Could be cool, could be absolute rubbish. Unfortunately, I think it will be the latter. Doctor Strange is a sorceror, and these have proven hard to get right in the films. Really, the only one remembered for being any good at all is Gandalf, who is a supporting character, and doesn't use much magic.

My anticipation: 1

Film potential: 2

Bad guys include Baron Mordo, another sorceror who likes tight green latex with a receding hairline and goatee (not a good luck) and Dormammu, sorceror supreme of another dimenion with a flaming pumpkin for a head.

Villain potential: 2

The Gargoyle
Columbia Pictures

What? Seriously? I can't even be bothered to rate this one.

Ghost Rider 2
Columbia Pictures
IT can't be any duller than the first, can it? I'd be amazed if Nicholas Cage agreed to do this, but then he may be locked into a 3-film contract. Ironic, as the story is about the devil holding a contract for Cage's soul...

Iron Fist
Lions Gate Films

Everybody was kung foo fighting - HA! Yeah, Marvel's answer to Bruce Lee. Except he's a blonde white dude whose fist can become like a thing of iron or something.

If you like martial arts super-hero movies, then this is the one for you.

My anticipation: 3

Film potential: 3

Bad guys include Sabretooth (from X-Men), Boomerang and various other martial artist themed foes.

Villain potential: 2

He's also partner to...

Luke Cage
Marvel Studios

Angry black dude with steel hard skin. He's a super-hero with a difference - he hires out his services as a hero to make money. He also says "Sweet Christmas" a lot. Very much a black stereotype from the '70s, not sure how well he would translate to the cinema screen.

Seems to have undergone something of an image change in comics recently, however, and is more of gangsta than a brother; shaven head, tight black vest, gold teeth etc. Shame.

My anticipation: 3

Film potential: 2

Bad guys include lots of racial stereotypes with shite names, like Cotton Mouth (a type of snake) and Moses Magnum.

Villain potential: 1

Nick Fury
Marvel Studios

Already introduced in Iron Man. Samuel L Jackson as a super-spy with an eye patch and a flying car. Can't really miss can it, except I doubt we'll see Fury using the term "motherfucker" at all.

And notice how the comic version bears more than a passing similarity to Sam the Man himself...

My anticipation: 3

Film potential: 3

Bad guys include terrorist organisations HYDRA and AIM, as well as assassin robots called Dreadnaughts.

Villain potential: 3



Silver Surfer
20th Century Fox

Hey, its the Silver Surfer... what else do you need to know, except he's the coolest surfer in the universe...

My anticipation: 3

Film potential: 3

Bad guys include Galactus, obviously, as well as alien races such as the Skrulls and Badoon, as well as other heralds of Galactus, like Terrax and Firelord

Villain potential: 3

Sub-Mariner
Universal Studios

The Rock has been approached for this film. But really, it's about an anti-hero who lives (mainly) in the sea, his costume consists of speedos, and he flies by means of ankle wings. In the comics he tries to invade the surface land quite often, fights other super-heroes (and nazis) and tries it on with the Invisible Woman. Ugh.

My anticipation: 1

Film potential: 2

Enemies include the Fantastic Four, and other sea beings such as Attuma (not a tuna! lol) and Tiger Shark.

Villain potential: 1

Venom
Columbia Pictures
Talk about scraping the bottom of the Spider-Man barrel. But that is a cool pic.

My anticipation: 1

Film potential: 2

Enemies include... um, Spider-Man?

Villain Potential: 1

And thats all the crap I could find for this Marvel movie post. Any errors or omissions, let me know.

Marvel Movies

Marvel's financial report for the first quarter of 2008 includes a list of upcoming films they plan to release in the future; this is pretty cool news, and I've included a list for those geeky enough to be interested.

Unfortunately, they do not plan to release any films during 2009, meaning after the Hulk we have to wait almost 2 years for the next Marvel feature. That kind of sucks.

The next film?

IRON MAN 2
April 30th, 2010

I'm obviously looking forward to this one, considering how much I enjoyed the first film last week. Let's hope it can keep up the quality.

As far as I'm aware the director and stars are all signed to a three film deal, so as long as it's half as awesome as the first one, it will be a great film.

The Mandarin was set up in the first film (if you're geeky enough to spot the references) so expect Chinese villainy aplenty (although I bet they change his nationality to Korean)



THOR
June 4th, 2010


One of the more obscure Marvel characters, despite his big geek fan base. He's the Norse God of Thunder, super strong and immortal, with a large hammer mjolnir, that he uses to smite evil doers. The hammer also allows him to fly and do a whole bunch of crazy stuff.

Many of his adventures are sent in Asgard, where the Norse Gods live, battling giants and trolls. But many more of his adventures are set on Earth battling evil super-villains, such as the Absorbing Man and the Wrecker.

I'm curious whether they go the super-hero route, or instead take the fantasy setting. Of course, they might combine the two to have a super-hero Lord of the Rings, but I'm guessing this would be tricky.

The director is yet to be announced, but Thor is set to be played by Kevin McKidd, the lead on Journeyman, the time travelling TV series recently broadcast. Good choice, I think.

That's it for 2010, then it jumps to 2011

CAPTAIN AMERICA
May 6th, 2011

The star-spangled Avenger himself! This film should be awesome, especially compared to the suck-fest that was the 1990's version (they changed the Red Skull from evil Nazi agent to Italian for fear of offending Germans about the war - so what about the poor Italians?!?)

I'm hoping Brad Pitt makes his first super-hero movie, considering the way he fought with a shield in Troy. He's be a perfect choice. The wrong actor and this thing will fall apart as pure cheese. Oh, and I hope he doesn't fight bloody terrorists - they sure can get old in escapism films. Iron Man is the exception as his origin always involved terrorists.

While I have no doubt the main bad guy will be the Red Skull, I would love to see Batroc the Leaper make an appearance. He's a French kick boxer who bouces around a lot and speaks in an over the top French accent. I must blog about him soon.

THE AVENGERS
July, 2011

This is the big one. It's already been set-up in the first Iron Man, in the scene with Samuel L Jackson as agent Nick Fury of SHIELD. I expect more set-up in the upcoming Hulk film.

The Avengers were originally Thor, Iron Man, Ant-Man, the Wasp and the Hulk, who banded together to fight Loki, Thor's evil step-brother. They were quickly joined by Captain America.

I hope they take some bad guys from the individual films, and band them together as the Masters of Evil, the opposite of the Avengers. I can see the Red Skull, the Abomination (from the new Hulk film), the Iron Monger armour (from Iron Man, but not worn by Stane, obviously) plus others banding together and fighting our heroes. That would be so cool.

Plus, Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury! Cool!

But... wait... of the original Avengers, we have movies for Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Captain America... but what about Ant Man and the winsome Wasp?


Well, it was announced that an Ant Man film was to be released in 2009, directed by Edgar Wright, partner to Simon Pegg and co-writer and director on Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Will it happen? It should really, to set everything up for the Avengers film.

Although Ant Man is kind of a crap character - he shrinks and rides around on a flying ant. His partner, the Wasp, is slightly cooler, she shrinks but grows wings and fires energy blasts (her "stings").

Can we dare hope that not only does this movie get made, it's played by non-other than Simon Pegg?!?

Oh, and Ant Man is slightly mental, has nervous breakdowns, and beats up his partner sometimes. Not your typical super-hero. He also has the worst bad guys ever, and that's including the Spider-Man and Iron Man foes I've bogged about in the past. The Human Top, a villain who spins round like a, well, like a human top. And Egghead, an evil scientist with a head shaped like an egg. Ugh.

Let me know if you're looking forward to seeing any of the above films!

Ant Man Addendum

I've just noticed that within the Marvel Quartlerly report Ant Man is indeed listed as an upcoming movie project, with the writer/director appointed (Edgar Wright). There is no release date, however. As I can't imagine Ant Man having summer blockbuster appeal (would your movie highlight of the summer be going to see a man who can shrink, have a breakdown, and then beat his wife? No, didn't think so, although it's probably the best Oscar chance for a super-hero movie), if this is released I could see it being delayed to fit in around Iron Man 2 and Thor during 2010. Although it might be worth an out of season release, maybe late 2009.

Iron Man villains addendum

I have been reminded that I actually forgot one of Iron Man's most astounding and fearsome of opponents - a behemoth of epic proportions, a dragon so huge, so gigantic, so impossibly fearsome, he has caused our favourite avenger no end of trouble in the past.

His aliases include:

• He Whose Limbs Shatter Mountains
• He Whose Back Scrapes The Sky; and
• The Sleeping Dragon
  

With a foe as powerful as this, have we found a worthy adversary for Iron Man in his third film? After all, how can the menace of Fing Fang Foom be defeated simply with a mechanical suit of armour?

Yes, Fing Fang Foom, as he is known throughout the Marvel Universe. But is he (it?) a worthy opponent for Iron Man? Take a look at the image, and decide for yourself...

Oh yes, I forgot to mention the thunderously powerful dragon known as Fing Fang Foom wears giant purple pants. I suppose even dragons must have some modesty...?

7 things you never knew (or wanted to know) about Fing Fang Foom:

1. He (it) comes from Kakaranathara, an alien planet. Making him (it) a large alien, and not really a dragon at all.
2. He (it) apparently fought the Communists as well as Iron Man. Erm, odd.
3. He (it) can use those "little" wings to fly at supersonic speeds.
4. He (it) communicates telepathically, rather than speaking.
5. He (it) does not breathe fire, no, but a combustible acid mist.
6. In the Iron Man cartoon, he (it) was voiced by the same person who featured in Back To The Future part II as the Biff Tannon Museum Narrator.
7. The Hulk is green with purple pants, yet nobody finds him particularly amusing. Odd.

Well, I hope this has been both informative and helpful, and l hope you're looking forward to seeing this great villain in a sequel near you, soon.

Iron Man review - sorta

Iron Man - short review, it's bloody excellent, go and see it...

It's up there with Spider-Man, which isn't bad considering Spider-Man is like my favourite super-hero and one of my favourite films.

The acting is brilliant, and Robert Downey Jr manages to nail the character of Tony Stark perfectly, even more so than Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker. And Jeff Bridges makes a pretty good Obidiah Stane. Stane was, I thought, pretty obscure for a villain in the first film of (hopefully) a trilogy, as he had one story arc in Iron Man back in the early 80's when I was reading the comics. In fact, he's more like Lex Luthor from Superman than your average Marvel villain.

However, the film works not only on an action film level, but also on a huge geek level as well. Iron Man's main supporting cast gets in, obviously, which would be Pepper Potts (great name), Rhodey and even Happy Hogan (played by the director, Jon Favreau). But also, look out for SHIELD, the jets that are called Whiplash, robot servants called Jarvis, and Stan Lee mistaken for Hugh Hefner.

Hmm, talking of villains, Obidiah Stane probably was a good choice. The Mandarin has been set up for the second film (possible bad move - he's a chinese warlord who wears ten rings, each with a different super power, and he can karate chop through steel - he'll need a huge overhaul to be taken seriously) but who could they have for a third film?!? Iron Man's rogues gallery is pretty limited compared to someone like Spider-Man.

How about the terrifying Termite?!?






This guy has the power of a termite - he can rot things like a termite, and tunnel through the ground. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the proportional strength of a termite, or any of the really cool inspect powers like Spider-Man. In fact, imagine Spider-Man if he could just climb up walls.


Hmm, I could probably have this lame villain in a fight, let alone someone with the super armour of Iron Man. I'm not quite sure how this character ever made it as a super-villain, let alone as an enemy of someone who can destroy tanks without breaking a sweat. No, he's probably a bit of a crappy choice for the villain in the third film, let's look again.


How about.... Blacklash?

He must have better powers than the Termite at least. What? A whip? And a bullet proof cloak? You're joking right? Wait, his whip is metal? Is that supposed to be scarier? Iron Man can fly and shoot energy blasts. Is this really a bad guy or just a very confused Indian Jones outfit? Funky boots though, and I like the name, though, so that puts him ahead of the Termite at least.

Sigh, lets try again...

Ah, I know, the menace of Vibro!!

Seriously ugly bugger, ain't he? And thats just his costume, never mind his face. His power? he can vibrate things... um, didn't we already cover this in a previous post about the Spider-Man foe Shocker? Who also had a hideous costume design...

I'm starting to realise why Iron Man never had the mainsteam publicity of other super-heroes; seriously, a guy who can vibrate things up against a man with bullet proof armour, energy beams, rockets and who can fly? What the fu...? Iron Man, you better get some new villains fast before the third film gets written, or you're real enemy will be shite box office takings.

Still, first film: great. Go see it.

The future Mrs Yankovec

Two posts in a day? Blimey, I must be bored at work. Might even make it three, if I have the urge to post about the Iron Man film tonight (which looks like the best comic book film, ever, after Spider-Man - it's about an alcoholic, womanising millionaire who dresses up in armour to beat the living crap out of bad guys - if that doesn't sound like fried gold, what does?!)

Anyway, back to the subject of this post:

Less than two months now, and me and my gorgeous fiancee will be tying the knot. That's kind of permanent. At least it is for me; I know it's kind of fashionable to be married for a short period of time, but I never want to get divorced or plan to. When I get married, I want it to be to the perfect partner, and I will make it last the whole way. Only God will separate me from my wife, and you can be sure I'll put up a sodding good fight to not let that happen.

So, no real surprise, I've met the right woman, someone I want to be married to for life. But, nothing is easy...

Me and fiancee have had a few issues lately, disagreements, I think we're both expecting slightly different things from our long term relationship. I think I'm right; she thinks she's right. That's kind of how the whole thing works, people have different points of view, different perspectives. Me and Katie are not the same person, we are different (both geeks, but, hey..). Life has been hard for Katie, she's lost the most wonderful person in her life, her kind and lovely mother, taken far too soon, which has had a big impact on her life.

I want to help her, more than anything, but don't know how*, and Katie doesn't know how she wants to be helped, and I think this has been the source of our problems. I need to help her; it's in my nature. It's been very frustrating that I can't help her, made worse by the fact I really dislike the way she seems to be handling it, and the more I get frustrated, the more I take it out on her, and the more she retreats from me. A viscous vicous terrible circle.

The added stress of the wedding, money, the children, etc., certainly does not help matters.

Christ, anybody reading this will probably wonder what the Hell we're getting married for after reading everything above. And that's kind of the point of this post.

Katie Cowles, even when our relationship is not easy, in fact when it's downright fucking hard and nearing on impossible, it is still, and always will be, the most perfect thing to ever happen to me.

I love you so much, it literally hurts sometimes, and I know you feel the same way. Together forever, through good times and bad. xxxxx

*just remember, when I seem like a bastard, I'm doing what I believe is right and for the best. That doesn't mean I'm right, of course, but it doesn't mean I'm wrong either

Birthday Update

Wow, what a cool birthday. Need to update...

Got the watch! (see post below)

Got new 3/4 trousers and a matching shirt and matching sandles which are all fantastic!

And then I got taken for a weekend to London, where I stayed in a fancy hotel, ate huge breakfasts, introduced my fiancee to my friends, ate scrummy argentinian steak, went to the London Dungeons and Madame Tussauds.

My myspace and facebook friends would probably have seen some photos, including ones with Patrick Stewart and Sarah Michelle Geller.

My mum and dad got me a present too. It might be useful one day, but I doubt it. Still, it's the thought that counts, right?*

*no, not really.